All of us have a conscious and a subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is much more limited in its capacity as it represents only about 10% of each one of us. So really the much more powerful part is the subconscious, as it accounts for the other 90%!
Our conscious mind allows us to be aware of our surroundings. It is our logical self and it has the ability to analyse problems and make judgments. It also represents our will power. For example, we use mostly our conscious mind to read a report at work, analyse it and to make sense of it. Another example would be when we are looking out for vehicles while deciding when to cross the road.
Our subconscious mind, on the other hand, is a storehouse of all our experiences. In short, it is our memory bank. Interestingly, it is also the seat of our emotions, imagination, habit control and motivation! Therefore, one can easily see that this is the more impactful part of our mind, an area one should aim to reach into if we want to make habit changes, or deal with emotional problems. In fact, the origin of all bodily urges such as hunger, thirst, sex and self-preservation lie within here too.
This is the part Scientists refer to when they say that human beings have not tapped into their true potential yet. While our conscious mind is limited in scope, there is no known limit to the capacity of our subconscious mind. In fact, the human mind is the most powerful computer known to man. Even if an expert is able to duplicate the exact functions of our brain, the resultant computer would be too big and taking up too much space!
If our subconscious mind is so powerful, how does one develop bad habits or get trapped in an emotional turmoil for example? Well, what works for us can often works against us. It depends on what messages get stored in our “CPU”. These messages can come from our parents, peers, society at large and especially ourselves!
It is a well known fact that if a parent were to constantly tell a child that the child is good, capable, etc – in short mostly the positive stuff – the child is likely to grow into a confident, well-adjusted adult. The reverse is also true – feed your child with negative messages that he or she is not good enough, chances are that the child will grow up with a chip on the shoulder. Likewise one has to be careful with one’s internal dialogue. If I were to constantly tell myself that I am poor with maths, and that it is a difficult subject, over a period of time I would develop a negative association with maths and this is stored in my memory bank. Every time maths is involved, I would naturally feel inadequate about it, and it is not likely that I will do well in the subject.
This explains why it can be difficult for people to make changes to their lives. While their conscious mind wants to, their subconscious mind is often in the way. And whenever our conscious and subconscious minds are in conflict, the latter often wins! Therefore to bring about effective change, one way of doing it is to go to the source of the challenge – our subconscious mind! Make it work for us instead of against us.
To stop a bad habit (or to start a good one), many of us know what the logical course of action is. Lack of knowledge is seldom the issue. Someone wanting to lose weight knows that he needs to eat less and exercise more. However, he may find it difficult to change his diet or to keep to an exercise programme. The person may have a tendency to reach out for his favourite type of food, which could be “comforting” food high in carbohydrates or fat such as rice and fried food. There is already an auto-connection between eating these foods and feeling satisfied.
Hence there is an internal conflict in the sense that consciously, the person has a strong desire to lose weight and he knows that he needs to change the way he eats but emotionally, he feels powerless to change.
Overcoming our emotional hurdle often holds the key to a successful habit change. We wish to think of ourselves as mostly rational beings. In reality, emotions and feelings often hold sway over us. Is it any wonder than that using largely our will power alone is not going to yield the results we want?
And using our will power is especially bad for overcoming issues such as insomnia or erectile dysfunction. Think of an insomniac trying hard to go to sleep. The more the person desires it, the less likely sleep will come his way. When I asked my insomniac clients what went through their minds when they are tossing and turning in bed at the end of the day, it is common to hear comments like “I told myself that I need a good sleep, because I have to be well-rested to be energised for the next day.” Thoughts like this are actually in the way of a good sleep, because it becomes a stressor in itself! I remembered I even had a taste of it many years ago. One time my housemate and I planned to go to the club at night. We decided to have a nap in the afternoon, and gave ourselves an hour to do so. Eventually both of us emerged from our respective rooms reporting that we can’t sleep! It was simply too contrived and stressful! This was just a one- time incident. So one can easily imagine what it must have been like for people who have been facing sleep problems for years.
As for someone who has problem achieving or maintaining an erection, trying to will it to happen is going to result in failure. Relaxation, feelings, mood and the state of mind are important ingredients. The use of will power is guaranteed to make the effort fall flat.
It is much better to engage our subconscious mind to help us achieve our goals, whether these be smoking cessation, improving the quality of our sleep, enhance learning and concentration or a myriad of other daily challenges facing us. Our subconscious mind is most accessible when we are relaxed and focused, and we can either use self-hypnosis or a therapist-assisted hypnosis for this end.
